Fallen
by Raving-Lunatic
Summary: All they had to do was stay in the room. All they had to do was stick together. All they had to do was trust each other. And now, now she has no one left but him.
1. Falling glass

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Nothing was supposed to happen this way. Of course, we never had a choice. Not really.

You see, for each of us, being a superhero was the only life we knew. We could never have been anything else. Our looks, our habits, our powers, they were all too different to fit into a little cubicle and coffee break life. We were born to be heroes, each of us.

But that day changed everything.

The power grid for the city went out. I remember stepping out of my room into darkness, Cyborg's little shoulder light shining in my face, Starfire and Beast Boy hovering behind him…

"What. Happened." I intoned angrily. I had been studying the book of Azar when the lights suddenly failed me. It was a very perturbing inconvenience.

"I don't know." Cyborg answered truthfully, rubbing his metal-plated head. "The whole city is out. The back-up systems should have come on by now. It's not even raining." He mused quietly.

"Where is Robin?" Starfire pleaded nervously. I could see her hovering in the shadows, holding up a pale green ball of light. She looked fearful and worried, never having been one to hide her emotions.

"Yeah, good question. How do we know-" Beast Boy's sentence was cut short abruptly as the Tower gave a violent shake. The sounds of explosion and breaking glass shattered the silence, erupting the world into chaos and terrible, fiery fear.

Instantly we began to run to the main control room, and its large bay window. A shape darted out in front of us, cloak billowing from his momentum. Robin reached the control room before the rest of us, hardly pausing to wait for us to catch up. I quietly cursed his impetuous need to be the leader.

At the window, we could see the flickering reflections of fire. The Tower sounded unusually quiet without the blaring noise of alarms and warning lights. There was no power, and therefore no security.

Below us, as we gazed out onto the bay, we could see the lower floors slowly burning. Several more windows exploded in showers of glittering glass as the fires and the heat caused electrical equipment to explode. I glanced sideways, to see Robin's disturbingly apathetic expression as the world shook beneath us. The fire cast eerie shadows over his features, distorting his appearance. I suppressed a shiver,

We had been through so much already, with Slade and his foolish appointments as apprentices. First, Robin and his misguided role as Red X. Then, he became the unwilling servant to the madman himself. Finally, Terra: a friend and also an enemy as she turned her back on the Teen Titans and allied herself with Slade. The experiences had changed all of us, sobering us toward our role as heroes.

"We've been attacked." Robin said coldly. Instantly the other three Titans were at attention, their bewilderment and fear suppressed beneath a thick sense of duty. We were used to villains hating us, and we were used to attempts at our lives. But this felt different. It felt wrong.

Maybe that was just me.

"We need to evacuate to a safe location-," the Tower rumbled ominously, leaning outwards toward the water. "Raven!" Robin barked in alarm, steadying himself against the couch while the other Titans compensated their balance to the sudden tilt. I remained perfectly still by the window, watching as our home crumbled.

"I can't get us out of here." I whispered sullenly. I had felt it the minute the lights had gone out. But seeing the Tower slowly fall had finally brought it to my attention.

"What?" The other Titans asked, varying levels of terror caressing their voices.

"This plan is more elaborate than we could have imagined. My powers are useless." To demonstrate, I stretched my hand out and chanted. Nothing happened.

Beast Boy began to panic, flying around the room as a small, fearful sparrow.

"Then we'll have to fly." Robin said resolutely. "Beast Boy! Carry Cyborg!" Beast Boy, ceasing his panicked twittering, became a large pterodactyl and gripped the tin man by the shoulders. Starfire floated over and gently wrapped an arm around Robin's waist, both of them blushing slightly. I watched mutely, reflecting bemusedly on how much the two of them seemed to like each other so much and how neither of them would ever say anything. Could I be panicking? Thinking about romance in the middle of a crisis like this couldn't be healthy.

"Star, can you carry Raven and me both?"

"I am sure it will not be difficult."

"…"

"Friend Raven, why are you angry?"

"Because that isn't my waist Star."

"Oh."

I tried to ignore the spluttered, nervous laughter coming from the green dinosaur and his load as we crashed through the large glass window and took to the air. Starfire struggled with our weight, but soon we were save on a nearby skyscraper, watching as our home crumbled. With a deafening crash it fell into the bay. I felt my world shake with the reverberating terror and uncertainty that this fiery display produced.

"Our home…" Beast Boy broke the silence with a quiet sadness. Starfire sobbed gently beside him.

"I should have done better. I should have double-proofed the systems. I should have-"

"There was nothing any of us could have done."

We all turned to look at Robin, who was watching the explosions with that disturbing apathy again. His eyes narrowed as we watched, the wind from the released heat and impact of the crumbled Tower ruffling his black hair.

"This was obviously a well thought out plan. Destroying the main power grid? Shutting down back-up systems? Disabling Raven's powers? Someone was trying very hard to get us killed."

"I agree." I said darkly. My powers weren't returning, leaving me free to experience the pain and uncertainty that our newly destroyed home inspired in my heart. "And now we have nothing to help us discover who did this."

"Not on our own at least." Robin mumbled softly. I was the only one to hear him past the crushing winds and remnant explosions. "Titans! Get some rest. We'll think about what to do tomorrow."

Gratefully, the others filed away onto the fire escape and the empty building below. I sidled up beside Robin, eager to hear his theories. We were the thinkers of the group, both of us intent on answering questions and focusing on the task at hand. If I had something to think about, I would better suppress my turmoil of emotions.

"What are you thinking?" I asked gently. I didn't approve of his newfound stoicism, his callous demeanor or the way he barked commands as if drilling an army. Hadn't he learned anything at all from Red X?

"I don't want to, but I think we'll need help. Our base is gone, obviously to some elaborate plan. We have no leads and no means of tracing anything-"

"We can scan the debris, look for clues. "

He was quiet a moment, the fire lighting up his face in a strange macabre of red and black. Finally, "We'll just have to go from there."

Silence settled between us as we watched the last flames die on the water. I was almost pleased to see the angry frown settle on his face. Lately, Robin had distanced himself from all of us, as if cutting his ties to us would prevent any more betrayals. He had become cold and demanding, forsaking friendship for leadership. I had only ever seen him act more like his previous self when he thought he was alone. I knew that it could prove to be a crippling factor in whatever came next.

"Robin?"

"What?"

"We'll need to be together for this. We'll need to be a team." I gazed meaningfully into his blank, white mask, trying to impress upon him my subtle intentions. I think he understood.

"I know." He turned back to the water and sighed, "I know."

**Lunatic: I don't own the Teen Titans. Beware this has a really sad ending, at least that's what I think. Also, the plotline is all jumbled. Try to keep up. **

**It's best to read this while listening to really sad, slow music. Plus, keep in mind there are a lot of subtle, underlying, emotional motivations for the characters that I don't sit and spell out for you. **


	2. Falling snow

"Starfire how long does it take to look in the mirror!" Beast Boy whined, tapping his foot impatiently by the front door.

"One moment please!" Starfire's cheerful voice quipped from the bathroom down the hall.

I rolled my eyes; they had already been waiting for the redheaded alien girl for ten minutes now. We had been in this apartment, at each other's throats as we waited to hear from the Justice League, for one week. All of us were going a little insane from the small space and unerring anxiety. Worst of all, Robin was disappearing every night on vague missions of apparently great importance. It only served to drive a bigger wedge in our fractured, frightened friendship.

It was because of all this tension that Cyborg finally suggested they break their promise to the Justice League and go out for a night on the town. After all, Robin was disobeying orders by leaving the premises, why couldn't they? Naturally, I declined. I was looking forward to some time alone.

"I am ready!" Starfire appeared, dressed in glittering sequins and a mass of curled red hair. I had no doubt about why she had dressed up. "Where is Robin?"

"I'm not going Star." Robin's voice came from the window, brushed with frosted breath as he gently shut the glass behind him. He had obviously just returned from another strange excursion, bringing with him the stench of the city and the freezing edge of cold air outside.

"Yes you are." I growled angrily. "Because I'm not."

Robin only glanced in my direction, unfazed, and disappeared into the room shared by the three boys. I glared after him, furious.

"Whoa-" Beast Boy began, but Cyborg's hand on his mouth stopped him.

"Well! We'll just see y'all later! Bye!" The mechanical giant dragged the other two out of the room, waving and smiling with false cheer. I stood, growling, and slammed the door shut behind them.

It didn't bother me that Robin would stay under normal circumstances; he wasn't a bothersome pest like Starfire or Beast Boy, he was actually fairly tolerable. What angered me so much was his behavior in general. He was still cutting himself off from the team, dividing all of us with his absence. It was bad enough that we were stuck here, punted aside by our elders and forced into hiding by some invisible force, but he had to make it worse by not being there for us.

"Robin." My voice sinuously shattered the darkness of the room as the outside light filtered through the crack in the doorway. "We need to talk."

I found myself pulled into the shadows, the door slamming shut behind me. My eyes, accustomed to dark places, adjusted to the change in light and found Robin watching me quizzically. It reminded me of a different gaze. It reminded me of Slade.

"Let go."

Shrugging, he obeyed and paced to the bed in the center of the room.

"It doesn't matter. I know what you're going to say."

"That you're being pigheaded, impetuous and stupid?"

He glanced at me over his shoulder, a disheveled lock of black hair falling across his eyes. "Something like that."

"So why don't you give me an explanation and save me the trouble?"

He shrugged again, a cocky little tilt of his shoulders. "No."

I felt my patience break ominously, a frustrated tick itching at my temple. "Fine, Robin. I don't care if you make the same mistakes all over again, but I refuse to pick up the pieces when you hurt them."

I silently strode to the door, but I stopped, my hand on the handle. I wanted him to say something, I wanted him to get angry and indignant like the old Robin would have. But he didn't say anything. Not one word.

"Have it your way." I whispered.

XXX

The sun rose that morning with a hesitant slowness, achingly pursuing the shadows that it longed to destroy. As the light gently poured across the horizon and broke over the city, it illuminated the fractured remains of a once tall and proud emblem of justice.

Among the ruined rubble, we searched, scanning and digging for any signs of evidence. Cyborg salvaged what he could, mostly maintenance for his mechanical parts. Beast Boy mourned the gaming station. Starfire quietly sobbed as she searched, mourning the memories broken at our feet. I quietly retrieved my mirror.

It was shattered.

"I'm guessing that's bad, right?" I jumped and spun around, concealing the device. Cyborg smiled genially, several broken pieces of equipment in his hands. "It's ok, just me."

I sighed, pulling the broken mirror out from under my cloak. "I don't know. I was never told what would happen if this mirror broke." The mirror was a direct pathway into my mind, a training device for children on Azarath. We used it to see our minds for the first time, in order to visualize them later when we meditated unaided. I had no idea what the consequences might be. My mind might reflect the mirror, and shatter as well.

I hardly wanted to think about what would happen then.

Cyborg frowned worriedly. "Should we tell-?"

"No. I'll handle it." I hurriedly shuffled away from him, deeper into the debris. My cloak shrouded my body in shadow, separating me from the newborn daylight above.

XXX

I fingered the broken glass, the jagged pieces still attached to the glowering frame. Most of my belongings had survived, having been spiritually protected to do so. But this mirror had not, and somehow it filled me with a sense of loss, and fear. The fact that I could feel these emotions at all worried me.

I could not, would not, let the others know that my powers had yet to return. Speculation revealed that their disappearance might result from the shattered fragments in my hands, but how, I could not say. If I had been able to, I would have contacted Azar. She would have known.

The wintry light was silently reflected in broken patterns off the jagged glass, making the shadows in the room dance. It was snowing again, spotting the city with faint white static. I felt alone and uncertain among the towering buildings, locked inside our tiny apartment. Suddenly, I wished I had gone with the others and escaped this troubling silence. But I needed to maintain the illusion that I still had to stay home alone to meditate.

A door behind me silently opened, and I could feel, rather than hear, Robin approach. He stood beside me at the balcony doors, the gray light highlighting us both in silver. He took the broken mirror from me and twirled it in his fingers.

"You're one to talk you know."

I watched him silently from beneath my hood, and knew that he was aware of the significance of my shattered beauty device. Somehow he knew that I was powerless, somehow he knew that I was defenseless. And for some reason all the fear; the tension of keeping the secret, slipped away from me, and left behind it an aching longing I had never known before.

"Robin-"

"You talk so much about us sticking together, being a team, and yet you spend every day, every word, every breath, separating yourself from us. And you want to tell me not to? Isn't that hypocrisy Raven? They've come to accept that you're the way you are, so why can't you just accept what I've become?"

I stared after him as he turned to leave; anger and shock making me shiver. How dare he?

"Because this isn't who you are Robin! This isn't what you're meant to do! You're supposed to be there for them! You're supposed to-" I stopped, the look on his face catching my words in my throat and making me choke on them. He strode forward and grabbed my arms, pressing me against the glass. I held back a cry of surprise as the icy doors bit into my skin.

"Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do!" His voice echoed off the walls, shattering the wintry stillness. His face was inches from my own, glaring angrily.

_Finally. _I thought silently, relieved by the sudden show of emotion. If I had been able to, I would have probed his thoughts, searching for the answers to his behavior.

"You're being a pigheaded bastard!" I shouted back, giving in to the fresh feeling of anger.

"I'm doing what's necessary!"

"What? _Abandoning_ them when they need you most?"

The silence returned, more loudly than it had before. Robin's expression became thoughtful as he loosened his pressing grip on my arms and pulled me towards him. I silently cursed his mask, and the way it sheltered his eyes.

"Abandoning who, Raven? What about you?"

I felt uncomfortable suddenly, acutely aware of his rigidly angry body pressed against my own. I couldn't help recalling the fact that I was defenseless, though not exactly weak physically.

"I don't _need _anyone." I spat venomously, but even I could feel the tremors defying my angry expression. That painful, unidentifiable longing was threading its fingers into my heart, begging me not to push anyone else away from me. I waited with baited breath for his response, confused and frightened as to why it mattered so much.

His eyes narrowed into dangerous little slits of black and white, his face now so close to mine that our noses touched. "Well, Neither. Do. I."

In a moment he had dropped me and returned to the shelter of his black room, leaving me alone with my strange, unbidden sorrow and the shattered fragments of my 'Once upon a time'.

**Lunatic: Robin is having control issues. **


	3. Falling Tears

"It looks like the work of a very large crime ring that we've been pursuing lately. They're ruthless and cunning. We have no idea who's involved or why. All we know is that we've already… lost several members to them." Superman looked vaguely disturbed at having to reveal such unhappy information to five children, but he was a man of truth and honor and he believed in telling people exactly what they needed to know. "The grim fact of it is, that we don't believe you five are ready to face such an enigmatic foe. We'll be providing you with rooms in the city and requesting you remain there until further notice."

"What!" Beast Boy and Cyborg bristled, unwilling to even think that they needed the help of adults to avenge their home. Neither of them really understood why the League was involved to begin with. They began to offer protestations but stopped, under the surprisingly quelling glance of Robin.

I knew that Robin had expected this. Ever since the four emissaries from the station had appeared, requesting our presence, and Robin's unusual compliance, I had known he had expected this. He wasn't even watching Superman as he delivered the verdict. He was watching an enigmatic shape in the shadows.

Batman.

Ever since Robin's apprenticeship to Slade, Robin and Batman had been at odds. Batman no longer trusted the boy wonder's capabilities, and disagreed with his approach to crime fighting. Most likely, the silent bat had offered up his advice that the Teen Titans be prevented from actively searching for their attackers. Children shouldn't take part in acts of revenge, especially children who had been known to lose their tempers before.

However, it made me wonder what was so important about these criminals that the League would step in to begin with. Robin had mentioned their possible involvement the night of the attack. Had he known then that the criminals were much bigger than we could imagine?

"This is for your protection of course. Obviously you are the next targets of these assassins and they are extremely ruthless. They never stop pursuing a target until it has been eliminated. And somehow they always known their opponent's weaknesses."

I felt my world freeze. Was there another reason to my absent powers? Had the mirror been purposefully targeted?

"We request that you all assume regular, daily lives, and try to blend in as best as possible, understood? Do not leave the apartment and _do not _show yourselves in public."

XXX

I woke from my nap to find the world dark and glimmering with nightlife. I decided that the others must have been home by then, and would probably be looking for someone to tell their adventures to. Reluctantly I clambered from beneath the sheets and entered the main room, rubbing the tired sleep from my eyes.

I froze in the entryway, watching as the flickering images on the television screen cascaded over Robin's frozen shape. He was standing in front of the TV, remote in hand, and his face was shining with stifled tears. I was too stunned to move, wondering silently what had caused this odd picture.

"They're dead." He whispered. He pressed a button on the remote and instantly the sounds of a news report filled the room.

_"It's reported that the three teens were supposedly part of the late Teen Titans, which were thought to be destroyed in the recent collapse of Titan's Tower. The trio apparently fought bravely against yet, unidentified foes. We have no information yet as to the deaths total but we are certain that the three heroes did not survive the attack. " _

Robin muted the TV once more and turned to look at me, the stunned horror on his face mirroring my own. "The club that they were in- it exploded… a lot of people died…"

I didn't need his help envisioning what happened next. Naturally the three of them would have survived, resourceful as they were, and risen to struggle against the culprits. And somehow they had lost? It couldn't be. The Teen Titans never lost, they never failed. They never _died. _

Except, we weren't the Teen Titans anymore. We ceased to be that legendary team the minute Titans Tower crumbled beneath us. We were nothing then.

"Robin…"

"It's all my fault. You were right. I should have been there. I shouldn't have abandoned them. They died thinking that I didn't care. They died-"

"Robin stop!"

He stared at me with wide, uncomprehending eyes. I stood before him, clutching my cape to my body, shivering uncontrollably. We stood that way, caught, like a pair of animals in the headlights, in our own shock and horror. Suddenly, he crossed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me, desperately seeking to soothe my shattered heart. For the first time in years, I began to cry in deep, painful earnest.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. _Raven, I'm sorry_." His voice whispered in my ear, shuddering with repressed tears. I found myself gripping his shoulders as if they were the only things in the world holding me up above the empty chasm looming below me.

The emotions swirling in my mind were unrepressed, unbidden and so strong. I had never felt so many things before. I had never been able to. Part of me wondered why there was no exploding glass, no cracking walls, and the rest of me grieved without restraint. I begged the world not to start moving again. I begged whatever God there was, to let me stay here like this, in the arms of the only person I had left.

The front door crashed out of its frame and landed with a thud, revealing three huge silhouettes. Both Robin and I turned to face the intruders, Robin in fighting stance as I sniffled miserably behind him. The three strode into the room and the light from the TV fell across them, revealing Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman.

"Oh thank God!" The super powered woman strode forward and caught us both in a hug, obviously relieved that we were safe. I roughly shoved her away, glaring. I didn't want anyone else to touch me. I didn't want the world to start moving again. All I wanted was to stay in Robin's arms, where it was safe. Unconsciously I clung to his shadow, the darkness of my cloak hiding my expression.

Wonder Woman backed away in confusion, and Superman laid a consoling hand on her shoulder. He couldn't, however, stop Batman from glaring darkly at Robin, who in turn, glared equally back.

"We told them not to leave the building. I told _you _to make sure they didn't. They were your responsibility." His harsh, cold monotone, I had no doubt, was the inner voice that was already chiding Robin for their deaths. I felt a rage gathering inside me that joined with the unfairness of their deaths and cascaded past my eyes in a haze of red fury.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

Even Robin turned to stare at me in shock. I was no longer hiding behind him, but holding my head in my hands and crying uncontrollably. "It wasn't his fault! He didn't do anything wrong!" Robin's hands on my shoulders hushed my tirade. He gently stroked my hair and I gratefully leaned against him, welcoming the solace of his presence.

"She's right Bruce, you can't blame him. " Wonder Woman chided gently.

I could hear them talking, but I wasn't listening. My mind was racing with thoughts and agonizing pain, numbing my senses to the world outside. All that mattered was Robin's arms around my shoulders, and the flickering images on the TV screen.

I remembered Starfire, returning from her trip to the future with Warp. I remembered how I had gone insane in that dimension; without friends I had lost myself to the turmoil of my heritage. They never knew it, but I needed them more than they needed me. I needed them more than they needed me. I needed them more than they needed me.

I needed them.

XXX

"I don't care about the nature of a super hero! I don't care about my duty to the people! All I care about it my duty to _her_."

Robin angrily pointed in my direction, a gesture that made me blush. Superman and the other League members watched with varying levels of concern as Batman and Robin faced off in the center of their control room.

"We aren't heroes, maybe we never were, but right now that doesn't matter! You might be willing to sacrifice yourself and your sanity for the greater good, but I'm not!" And with that, Boy Wonder pulled the mask from his face and threw it at his mentor's feet.

Batman looked up from the fallen mask into the icy eyes of Richard Grayson. He looked about ready to disagree, and even Superman made to intervene, but the enigmatic hero only nodded.

"I know." He glanced at me, his dark eyes penetrating deeper into my sorrow than any gaze had yet to delve. "You both have been through too much to continue fighting. Robin… Richard… I'm sorry."

With a swirl of his spiky black cape, the Bat strode into the shadows and vanished. Richard watched him go, a stunned look on his face. Obviously he had expected Batman to argue. Deflated, he turned to me and smiled, a weak, pained smile that spoke of the many nights we had both spent awake in mourning. It was the first time I had ever seen his eyes.

They were blue.

XXX

When we moved into the apartment, we put our stuff into two separate rooms. We pretended we were normal. We dressed in normal clothes. We talked in normal tones. We watched normal TV; changing the channel every time we saw the news.

But that night, when the nightmares started to claw at my dreams and the tears soaked through my pillow, I woke up and silently tiptoed to his room. He was still asleep, motionless in the darkness. I was jealous of his ability to resist the terror of loss, his ability to remain inside reality and not the horrific dreamland pain of the heart.

I sat fearfully at the edge of the bed and trembled. I had lost everything: my friends, my family, my powers… What could I do now? What did I have left? I only had him. He was he last thing in the world that mattered.

His crime fighting instincts told him when he was being watched. I wasn't surprised when he jumped up from the bed and stared at me through the ebony shadows. I saw him smile faintly.

"We'll move your stuff in here tomorrow."

And that was that. We would share the room. We wouldn't be alone. We couldn't be alone. He invited me under the covers. I silently obeyed, facing the wintry night outside our window, and he wrapped his arms around me from behind. I could feel his breathing slow as it gently brushed my neck. His heart, beating steadily in his chest, the slow rhythm as he gently fell asleep, soothed my broken soul until I gave into the peace of sleep.

I still had a home, wherever I could find him.

**Lunatic: Usually I would have made Raven a lot calmer, a lot colder about all of this, but I wanted to show how much she really cared about her friends. After all, didn't she go insane when Starfire left? So no, I don't think anyone is out of character. And I think them leaving is perfectly plausible, and yes I might consider a sequel to better explain what was going on etc. etc. **


End file.
